Where am I going?

Well As you know I have quit Alpha and I have signed up to be on the HOPE 08 team at church which seems to have alot of exciting ideas, its just waiting to see if any of them come about. I also just recently got a new job at work which is one I've wanted to do for ages. I felt that our company needed a trainer for ages and I have said so before but now they have actually created the role and I was successful and got the job. This will mean alot more commitment from me as I will be doing a lot more travelling and maybe have to stay over some nights during the week.

I know this is where God wants me to go because I prayed about it as I do most things and basically just asked that if the job wasn't for me that the door be closed on it but I got it so I believe God wants me there but why?? Well the answer is I don't yet know.

Haven't been to church for a few weeks, I haven't felt I could be bothered which is really crap because I still believe but just not motivated to get to church. I feel bad for not being motivated but I don't know which is better, not going to church because I'm not motivated or going to church because I feel that's what I'm supposed to do and I actually don't want to be there?
sometimes I like to go to the Cathedral just because no one there really knows me and I can just be on my own with God. Sometimes my boyfriend has come with me and I really enjoy that time because theres something nice about sharing God with another person your so close to. But I cant force him to go.

Really looking forward to breaking up from work this Friday and having time off. I am off until 3rd Jan then becuase I have booked holiday, I am having a night out with my mum and boyfriends mum and sis like a mum and daughters night, then a night out with my friends. I am having a nice meal with my boyfriend. Having sunday dinner at Dads, Dinner at mums. Christmas dinner at boyfriends mums house and then a day watching my boyfriend play football and then the drinks that go after and then off to dublin for New Year. I was going to say I'm looking forward to the rest but looking at that list there is no rest althought I am looking forward to it all.

Then return to work with a new job to look forward to.

Alpha

I have also decided that I don't want to be part of alpha on the next course. It starts in January but I feel at the moment that I am not motivated for it as I have done it for several years now and feel that I want a break from it. I also feel that I am going to have alot of things to commit to with Hope08 and don't want to burn out. Its nice sometimes to come home from work and have nowhere to go. I know that through Hope 08 I am going to have plenty of things that I'll be involved in. It's seems sad but I'm sure there are people within the church membership which would like to lead or help at alpha and never realised they had the opportunity because the same people do it every year.

My Brother

Well I prayed about it last night and then again this morning and what upsets me the most about the situation is I don't know when I will speak to my brother again? I asked God to work in this situation, help him not to be negative about what I said, not to think I was getting at him, I prayed that he may know God too and I continue to ask for him to have a Saul experience of God. I prayed that God my guide me in this situation too because I don't know how to deal with it.
I was expecting some sort of nasty reply from my brother but shortly after he replied just saying I didn't get what he was trying to say but he was glad he gave me an excuse to get all that off my chest and that we would leave it at that.
The reply could have been so much worse, not sure what he is thinking about what I wrote but I'll just continue to pray for him.
But since my initial pray last night I feel God is talking to me, different things have been apparent. Like a message saying 'don't let go' (this came from a blog by Brian Heasley) as in don't give up on him. Then 'we are without fault' (this from a friends text about Ephesians 1v4) I feel he's saying don't feel guilty for the message yesterday. Then a suggestion to pray for of acceptance and forgiveness (this came from Sacred space prayer) lots of good stuff!

My Brother

I have received an email reply back from my brother in reply to a circular email I sent everyone called 'darts test' its a christian related email. He response was not very positive as he is an atheist ( as he says himself) but it really irritated me the stuff he put. like:

people believe in a God or Higher power to put their life into some sort of order and once that's sorted they will stop believing in God.

This really annoyed me because most of his email was not in his own words it was words he had taken off a website he has suggested I look. Quite often he has made comments suggesting that I have been brain washed by people yet here he is quoting from someone else ( I'm not suggesting HE has been brain washed what I'm trying to say though is you should back up your beliefs with your own argument not something someone else has written.)

So I replied explaining that I could quite easily refer him to many Christian websites but that is to easy. I also pointed out that right now I am really happy with everything that I have been given and therefore in response to his argument why would I be a christian if I was trying to put my life in order. I have been a christian now for about 4yrs or so and during that time I have been happy. When I became a christian I wasn't looking for any order either!

I went on to comment about his lack of job and the fact that he has to get money of mum and dad etc and basically told him what I thought.

I do love him and I told him s in the email but he constantly upsets me for different reasons and I have had enough. So basically I told him that I didn't want to see him at the mo.

Now of course I feel bad, was it a very Christian approach to have? I am sure thats probably one of the responses I'll get from him too. Have I just made the situation worse? I don't know the answers but all I can do know is pray about it and see what happens.

London

Well went to London this weekend, had a really good time. Went into the center of London literally as soon as we got there and went to Piccadilly. Met up with my boyfriends friend and his girlfriend for Friday night so had drinks with them. Then Saturday went round London again looking at the sites. Went passed Big Ben, London eye, St James Park, downing street, Trafalgar square pretty much on foot I might add by the time we went to oxford street I could be bothered any more I was well tired from all the walking so no shopping. We then went for a meal at a Italian restaurant local to where we were staying on Saturday night. All in all we had a good weekend.

talents

Well I told you about the Christmas Shopping night but I am not able to do that now as the church isn't available when I am able to organise it so instead I have been selling Tea lights with hope 08 stickers in little viol bags for £1, lets see if I managed to raise anything. A bit if a smaller project but every little helps as Tescos say!

Alpha Guest

I talked before about the 2nd guest that we had realised was involved in spiritualist church and we talked quite heavily about this as she couldn't understand why this was wrong. Afterwards I felt like we may have come across a bit harsh but I was just trying to answer her questions honestly. She missed out on the holy spirit weekend so she missed hearing others in the group talking about their involvement in spiritualist church or palm readying etc so I think she felt abit alone during this session. Anyway she didn't return the following week which upset me alot because I felt like I had pushed her away. This got me thinking, am I being judgemental, am I as bad as people I have talked about in my blogs? I didn't have the answers, I wasn't trying to come across that way, I just felt deep sadness that she felt more fulfilment from spiritualist church then in Jesus. So I prayed about it and one of the helpers from my group spoke to me last night and confirmed that she had spoke to this guest and they said they wanted to give me a big hug, their not ready to return yet as they need to have time to think but that they are ok with us. This was great because this was the piece of mind I needed. It is ashamed that they are not returning but that will be in gods time so we just have to keep praying.

Very Exciting

Well I am off to London tomorrow courtesy of my work, I won a competition which was for a weekend in a Holiday Inn for 2. So me and boyfriend picked to go to London just before Christmas. Really looking forward to it, nice bit of time just the two of us away from the norm.

We also booked to go to Dublin for New Year last night too so I have that to look forward to as well. Decided this year that we would do something different as there is a big hype about new year and then its always a let down. So this year there really will be something to look forward to, 4 days away together!!

Christmas day has been a really issue this year because we were gonna spend it together just the two of us but I think the family are keen to see us so the plan is to see them for Christmas day, boxing day etc and then go off just the two of us for new year. I was quite looking forward to having a Christmas dinner especially for 2 with no one else around but I realised that people around us want to share this nice time of year with us. I think we will try to do it next year instead.

Busy Busy

Then when I got home after the meal, I realised I volunteered myself to make Lasagne for alpha tomorrow night so would need to prepare it ready. When I counted though with all guests and helpers I was making lasagne for 30 people! So 3 lasagne's later I managed to sit down with a glass of baileys and watched spooks.

Can I just say I normally really hate winter, but this year it doesn't seem to be bothering me so much. This maybe down to the fact that I have tried to take on board the advise a friend gave me which was to appreciate winter for the things you can do then but you cant do in Summer like curling up in the sofa with a blanket to keep warm with a hot chocolate or a baileys (only tend to drink this in winter, very chrismasy)
But this year I have gone one step further and my and boyfriend have decided to have Christmas day on our own with no family just us two. This may sound a bit odd but I just fancy a change this year. With my parents being separated we have 3 sets of parents to see and I cant be bothered this year to try and fit them all in and worry about who is gonna be upset if we don't see them so we're seeing none of them. Then after dinner my boyfriend suggested that we go for a walk which I thought was a great idea. wrap up warm, scarf, hat and gloves and stroll down the canal. Then come back to a warm cosy house and curl up on sofa watching crap Christmas TV together. How Exciting.
Also I have booked us into a Cottage in the Cotswold's for valentines weekend as a Christmas present to my boyfriend ( he knows about this it isn't a surprise) which again means I have something nice to look forward to during this time of cold.
My boyfriend also suggested that we go Dublin for New Year just the two of us again which sounds fantastic, some of my family are over there but I think I'm gonna miss seeing them this time as they all live in Cork and its double the cost to go to Cork.

My brother

For those who you who read my blog but don't know me that well, my parents are separated and did so about 10 years ago but they both have new partners etc and my dad lives in an area just outside where I live so once a week we make a point of getting together for dinner with my brother to try and get to see each other regularly.
My Brother currently doesn't have a job and hasn't had a steady job for a number of years, he does bits here and there and then does nothing again for ages. anyway we got on to talking about stuff last night and my brother discussed the kind of job he would like and my dad tried to explain that until that kind of job came up really he needs to take another job to tie him over. he didn't get what my dad was saying so I tried to explain on his behalf and my brother got all defensive and basically said he's not having this conversation while I was present. so I left. We'd already had dinner by this point by the way but I'm sick of him just taking my parents for a ride. He talked about morals last night, he clearly doesn't have any morals when he is happy to have no job and live off my parents. The problem is everyone tip toes round him and dare not say, look get a job. Now I don't know whether he has issues that he needs to go see a councillor about but if he does then go and get that sorted.
Sorry if my views don't sound very Christian when I talk about him but I've had enough, this has been going on for 5yrs now or more (he's 30yrs old too) and I'm fed up with it. The amount of times I come back from this weekly meal with my Dad upset because my brother's comments. I do pray about him, I pray that he will have a Saul experience of God so he will know that God is real. I just know that if God was in his life then he would have a completely different outlook on life and not always be the way he is. So anyone who wants to pray about him too is more then welcome.

Alpha

I have been praying for our guests in my group each week on the way home from alpha in the car. I particularly prayed for one guests as she was still having doubts and she had previously been involved in a spiritualist church and this was holding her back. I just prayer that God would show himself more to her, that she may no longer need to question. Then the following week she seemed so much more confident in her faith and seemed less inclined to doubt it. So my prayers were answered again. We then established that there was another person in the group who was in the same boat, had doubts and had involvement in the spiritualist church so again I have prayed for this person too hoping that God will answer in the same way. How strange that we had 2 people in the same group brought to us with the same situation. Back to the first person though, after the second week I prayed again asking God to make even more of an impact in her life and I felt him saying that shes opened the door a crack but not enough for me to squeeze through, she needs to push the door wide open for him. I shared this with her the other day and she said she felt that what I had said was correct. Nice to feel like God is talking to you isn't it!!

Lets see what this week of alpha brings, I will keep you updated.

Service

Service on Sunday was really good because the Youth Leader lead the service and told the bible story The parable of the talents because previously as a church we have agreed to raise £1000 for one of our young members to do a year out for XLP and he suggested that we all have talents and we should put them to good use. He suggested that those who wanted to could take on the challenge of taking £10 and by 9th Dec coming back with at least £10.01. He had £400 to give out so there are 40 people who have taken on the challenge. I am trying to arrange a Christmas shopping evening at the church with mine £10. I figure we could charge £1 entry and charge the people hosting a stall £5 for the privilege and sell tea/coffee and cakes. Could make some good money, just waiting on the lady from church who looks after the diary to check the date is available. Good way to get the message across in service though.

Talking Space

Well I cant remember if I have mentioned that I was getting involved in this or not, but basically on Friday I was in town giving out free tea/coffee to people who had come out of the pubs and clubs in the city. It a thing that has been set up by a church in the town centre that are situated at the end of the road where the majority of the pubs and clubs are in town. Most people walk past it to get a taxi when they have finished drinking for the night. Anyway the church have set up that every other Friday a team of volunteers hand out tea/coffee and the people can come and site down and drink if they wish too. We don't open up the church but we set up chairs and tables in the church grounds with a big gazebo and candles etc. It was a fantastic night, I wasn't really sure at first how this would touch the people as they've all had a drink and I thought they probably wouldn't care about a free tea/coffee but amazingly I was to be proved wrong.
We had quite alot of people come, I was out on the street inviting them in and the responses I got were very varied. Some people didn't answer, others were very polite and said no thank you, others stopped and thought it was a very strange thing to do and asked why were we doing it and couldn't understand when I replied we're just being nice!!. Others came in no questions asked, some wanted the tea but didn't dear step foot over the boundary of the church property, I even had to get a few drinks for people and take them out purely for this reason.
I had one guy who was reluctant to go in and then ended up staying for about 2 hours (5 drinks late!!!) I passed a couple sitting down with there tea discussing the fact that she thought there was a God and he didn't, so I made a joke and said don't worry my boyfriends not a christian, you'll get used to it. Then I ended up sitting with them for about 1/2 hour discussing different things.
At the End of it there was alot of people to pray for, and I felt really encourage to want to do it again. This week was my first week and it was a tester basically for me to see if I want to be involved more regularly. I am looking to put my name down on the rota from next year as the next 2 Fridays they are doing I am busy.

I am also still looking to get involved with the Christian drug rehabilitation place in Coventry as a volunteer too but I haven't heard anything about that yet if you want to pray about that for me.

We also had a meeting last night about the next alpha that we are running in January as we obviously need to promote and plan that and there is still HOPE 08 of course which will be going on through next year, so lots of stuff going on at the moment.

Return of the other half & catherdral Praise

Well it's Monday which means my boyfriend is coming home from his jollies will the lads. Looking forward to it, Part of me was looking forward to the time on my own as when he is not around I tend to spend a bit more time with God, reading my bible or praying etc so that side of it was really good. And this isn't my boyfriends fault I just find when he's not around I have more spare time to spend with God. but I have really missed him as well, arrhh I hear you all say or YUK! either way I don't care I just cant wait to see him and give him big cuddles and kisses.



Went to cathedral last night instead of going church in the morning. They do a service at the local cathedral called 'cathedral praise' on a Sunday evening which is open to people from other Church's. Its great cos its on in the evening so I fancied a lay in yesterday so I went their instead of my own church. Two of my friends came with me and then we went to a bar round the corner afterwards. During the service John Irvin asked whether anyone had anything to share from the alpha holy spirit day and he said he felt someone had something to share. I thought is he talking about me? so I just sat there and didn't say anything and then the moment passed and no one shared their experiences. So I later caught his attention and ended up sharing with the congregation my experiences.

I remembered also that when it came prayer time on the holy spirit day I was very nervous about praying for the guests, as I pray for people normally but not for them to receive the holy spirit. So I said a quick prayer in my head and asked God for some help. the next minute John came over and said he felt God compelling him to pray with me and this guest. Afterwards I realised God had answered me then too. He had provided John as support for me when I was praying. So I shared that and also shared about the message God had given me for this other guest. I felt a bit nervous getting up in front of all these people at the cathedral but afterwards realised that its a good thing because sharing these experiences of God working in your life can really encourage others.

My friend text me today as well and the message was really nice, she has been sharing stuff with me at the moment and she asked for prayer last night at the cathedral. She shared with me the issue and I gave her my advise and opinion etc. Today's message says 'Praying God will bless you tons today babe! Thanks for being such a special and understanding friend. I thank God for you. Be encouraged today' how nice of her, I do have a lovely friend in her.

Experiencing God Again!!

Recently I have had a situation at work where myself and a colleague were clashing, so in the end I confronted the person about it to get this issue out in the open. After I spoke to them I prayed and asked God to work in that situation and asked that all would be good. Anyway next minute the person came back to me later in the day and said they were sorry about the whole thing and they just wanted us to start a fresh. This is great because 2 good things from this. 1 the situation at work is much better, 2 I had a another real god answered pray moment AGAIN!!

Today was our Holy Spirit Day for alpha and John Irvin does the talk, he is the dean of Coventry Cathedral where I live but he was also involved in putting together the alpha with Nicki Gumble back in the day as I think John was the minister of holy trinity brompton at the time (which is the church where Nicki is the minister for now) So its a really good talk. As a leader of one of our small groups this year it meant I had to pray for the guests at the end of the talk. It was really scary as I have never had to do this before. I mean, I do pray for others but usually for a particular situation or a particular request etc but this was totally different. Obviously you pray for them to be filled with the spirit etc. Anyway I did it but one particular person I prayed for I felt God saying to them 'You just have to let me in, open the door, I'm waiting to be in your life, its like picking up the telephone and I'll be at the other end'. I was like WOW where did that come from and it obviously was from God because they got upset and so that really moved me then because I realised that God had used me to pass on this message. So obviously i started blubbing then too. but all was good. really good.

Also I spoke to a women there who is involved in a local christian project that helps young men get off drug and alcohol addictions, she was saying they need loads of volunteer. I have thought about volunteering for this group before but then never did but I think I may consider getting involved. Also it would be a good way to give HOURS OF KINDNESS for Hope 08. It would be a case of volunteering myself to help teach the men how to cook, so that when they finish the programme and have to look after themselves that they have got basic skills in the kitchen. Anyway gonna pray about this and see if that's where God wants me. Who knows he my have other plans for me.

Weekend to myself

Well my boyfriend is going away with the lads this weekend, well I say weekend he's going tomorrow and not coming back til Monday. Its great because he gets to spend time with the lads and have a good laugh and I can just get on with doing my thing while he is away.

Thursday I'm helping my mum with a party, Friday seeing my friend, Saturday going to our Holiday Spirit day for alpha, Saturday night seeing my other friend and then Sunday roast dinner at mums. so all it good. Really looking forward to the holy spirit day, most of the guests are going so we'll see how that's goes.

Not very much exciting to say at the mo so that's why I'm not blogging as often as before.

God Time

I think it was on one of Nicki Gumbles videos where he said that even read the bible for 7 minutes a day just to keep getting the word from God. It made me think that I don't feel close with God because I don't get his word, I don't get his word because I don't allow time to read the bible and I don't do this because I find it very daunting think I've got to site there for half and hour to an hour and read it. I think of so many things that I could do to fill my time better.
But it doesn't have to be like that, I can easily allow 7mins of my time each day to read a bit. So I started last night and I am going to try to continue this.

Also forgot to mention the development at Alpha. One of the guests had an attack during the night as what she describes as just 'darkness and evil' around her. Before this she has been very argumentative in the discussion groups, which is fine as everyone is entitled to discuss there view. But when this happened she said she just asked Jesus to come and help her and that she wants him and nothing else. After this the evil went away and now she has decided that this is what she wants to follow JESUS. How amazing!! Obviously she is still asking questions as she needs alot of answers but she has totally changed. It is also encouraging to the rest of the guests to hear this too.

Well the clocks have gone back and the sky is dark when I go to work and dark when I come home, I hate this time of year, so depressing. Really gonna try this year to perk myself up some how? not sure how yet!! Quite strange how much we allow the light to effect us to much.

Random Night Out

My friend asked me the other day if I was free on Friday night which I was so she told me to dress smart and she was taking somewhere where I would get fed and watered for free just had to go. I would also be picked up and dropped off. So obviously I asked where we were going but she wouldn't tell me, it was a surprise. Immediately I was asking all sorts of questions but she still wouldn't tell me.

Anyway it was last night, I was taken to a testimonial for a football player and basically we had been roped in to sell raffle tickets, bingo tickets etc in a room full of blokes. I was a bit apprehensive to start with and thought I was going to be disappointed as I'd built it up to be something great when I didn't know where I was going. But as it goes I had a wicked night. sold the tickets but tat was easy, just walked round with a bucket and get the blokes to part with there money. Then we had a nice 3 course meal and a few drinks which was all paid for. The guy organising it said we made double what they would normally get and asked us if we would help them out again in he future, s watch this space it may become a regular thing.

On another note, the Internet at home s finally connected so I'm sitting comfortably on my spare room sofa listening to music by Mark Ronson. My friend told us about a web site
www.hypem.com
which allows you to input the name of some music you like and it just plays all the tracks for free while your on the computer. Obviously you can buy them if you find something you like.

Thoughts

Well Alpha is still going well and all of the group are still attending which is good as ususally some people tend to drop out about now but all is good, its on again tonight. Tonights talk is about how and why to pray, think this will be a good talk as guests may be encouraged to give it a go and answered pray is a good why for people to recognised their faith etc.

Hope08 meeting last week, really excited for this mission, I have loads of ideas that we could do, but we are getting together next week in our church team to discuss these. Meeting last week was mainly talking to a local councillor about how we could help the local area etc.

Really struggling at the moment though with my relationship with God, there is a definite lack of effort on my part, but I think I am probably getting attacks for my involvement with Alpha too. So prayers would be much appreciated.

Wardrobes look great in my bedroom and the flat is starting to get organised finally after living there a year. We also brought a laptop, my boyfriend is like a kid with a new toy now. Although there is one benefit which is I can have the tele to myself now. We are connecting to Internet soon to so that will be handy at home. Starting to feel abit materialistic and too concerned about what we have rather then spending more time with God. Need to look at this really.

2 days off

Well the wardrobes have come, my mum waited in for them. I have two guys coming tomorrow to erect them. According to my mum though the flat pack parts are everywhere and the bed needs to be moved out of the bedroom so I think we're sleeping in the lounge tonight. With the wardrobes being fitted tomorrow though I have Wed and Thurs off work.

I am really looking forward to it. Although it will be an early start its nice just to have a couple of days off work. I am looking forward to trying to read a bit more of a book a friend has lent me called Velvet Elvis, christian book. He says I will really enjoy it, I'm sure I will but I need to motivate myself to read it because I'm not really a book person and the last book a read was at least over a year ago.

I'm also going for a new job at work in a training role which is an ideal role as have always wanted to be in this role but the role never existed in my company until they just recently created it. When it came up, you can imagine I was quite excited. So I will also spend sometime filling out the application form I have to fill out for the role. I want it to be really good so I'm taking some time to look over it and fill it out.

Open Door thing

Well the open door thing that I talked about a few weeks ago didn't really go the way I thought it was going. The door I thought was open was closed firmly in my face and I was gutted but since then I look at the situation and realise that by this door being shut many other doors have opened so this is all good. i am currently leading one of the Alpha groups at church, going to get involved in HOPE 08 in Coventry, looking at volunteering for talking space, applying for a new role at work. Lots of prayers required for all these things please.

thoughts of the week

Well since I last wrote on this, I have found out that my boyfriends sister is pregnant, so I'm going to be an auntie. How excited am I. Not ready for kids myself but quote happy for others and to do the whole shopping and planning thing with them. So I went out and brought some little booties for 3-6 months and then a baby on board car thing, Alredy!!!

Getting the new wardrobes this week and Internet connected so that's all exciting too. This also calls for 2 days off work which is great. Had to get the radiator removed off the wall at the weekend so its all go at the moment.
Just need to save for a new bed at the moment and then the room will be complete. Need to get rid of a wardrobe, chest of draws and computer from the spare room. After that I have plans to get new table and chairs and new sofa's but there not urgent.

Over the last 2- 3 weeks I have not really felt close with God and Sundays service was quite relevant as it was related to Encountering God. I sat there and thought I haven't really encountered God lately and don't really feel close to him at all. Previous to this everything was going really great and I felt encourage nearly every day by him but not recently. I've even doubted my faith in the last few weeks as I've thought ' is it all worth it' ' can I be arsed' it can be really hard as my partner isn't of faith and so we don't have that connection that I sometimes longed that we had. Don't get me wrong our relationship is great but for example I cant really discuss the above with him as he wouldn't be able to offer the support. Then it dawned on me that the last few weeks I've been leading Alpha and I'm properly getting attacked for that. So after service on Sunday I asked for Prayer so hopefully all will be well. I will try to remember to put on the armour of God each day as well to protect me during this time. I think perhaps I need to continue to make more effort myself as well to read the word, pray and just make more time for God. I dont want not to feel arsed and I dont want to give up on my faith as deep down I know its real and true just been struggling the last few weeks.

On a positive note I was looking through my Diary and I have loads of nice things planned leading up to Christmas so I am looking forward to them.

Clubbers Church

My friend is involved in a church in town who have started opening up the church on a Friday night around the time when all the people from the bars and night clubs are coming out.
Its called Talking Space and the church is right next to a busy street in town which is used by clubbers when they are trying to get a taxi home or a kebab on the way home.

I thought what a great idea! I have heard about stuff like this before but it never happens where I live, and now it is. Basically they offer people Teas and Coffee and somewhere safe to wait for a taxi etc. Of course sometimes the guests bring up God seeing as there in a church which is great but its not really being used to evangelise from what I gather more of a way for people to see Christians out in the community. This all falls back to what Hope 08 is all about so I think its a great idea. I have asked my friend to see if I can get involved and apparently they need loads of volunteers so watch this space!!

Exciting

Me and my boyfriend have decided not to move house now (dont know if I talked about this) we were selling due to lack of space in our apartment. No where for me to put the hoover or ironing board etc. We have had the house on the market for about 10 weeks but no one came so took it off the market and decided to have some nice wardrobes fitted in our bedroom to make more space. we both decided that we really like were we are and just needed more storage so that's the plan.

We also on that basis decided to pay for a BT line to be fitted and connect Internet. Which then means we need a new computer so we have brought a new laptop which is being delivered tomorrow. All is good as I can now access Internet at home as well as work. so you may get more blogs logged.

How exciting!!!

Just need to invest in a new TV as we need a flat one now we can mount to the wall and then a new bed cos ours is rubbish and then I think we are pretty much sorted.

Alpha

Well Alpha last week was great we had over 20 guests there all with different opinions and all attending for different reasons. The 1st talk is about who is Jesus and it was great to hear all the different views of the guests in the discussion. Its quite difficult to sit back and not say anything. As the idea of Alpha is for the Leaders and Helpers not to really say to much and to allow guests to give their views as if we started getting involved in the discussion it becomes more of a preach at the guests rather then an open discussion which is way Alpha works so well. I had to sit there with my lips firmly closed. The guests were confused by Nicki's comments about Jesus being the son of God and then later he says he is God. To a christian this is all explained in the trinity but if we had of sat there and gone full blown in to discussion about the trinity then that would have changed it into a preach. so I kinda had to encourage different guests to give their views on the subject and that seemed to be good.
Really looking forward to tomorrow night, my group are quite excited themselves.

Alpha & Hope 08

Well Alpha Launch went really well, we had about 10 guests and there are a few guests that are coming to the course but could not come to the launch so we should hopefully have a good turn out. All that promoting may have paid off. On the night I didn't get home from work til 5.40 and I was meant to be down the church for 6 to set up and I still had to prep the canapes for the evening. Got home though and my lovely boyfriend had done all the canape prep for me and also made my dinner. How nice is that! so I had chance to recollect myself and get down to church and set up.

I have been put forward to lead one of the discussion groups at our Alpha course which is great. I have been a helper for the last 4 or so years and I think its time that I have the opportunity to develope a bit more in this area. There was some opinions given that it might not be a good idea that I lead a group due to my living arrangements with my boyfriend (we are not married and live together). I do get annoyed when people in church condemn me for this. I even left church a couple of years back cause of rubbish like this. I do agree that not all aspects of the way I live my life our typically 'christian' but I only became a christian 4 years ago and not all areas of my life at will immediately fit in with the stereo typical christian life ( I'm not sure I want to be a typical christian) and I had already met my boyfriend and already had sex with him. He is not a christian and it is very difficult to turn around and say: oh by the way we cant have sex now. But then the christian response usually comes back: well if he really loved you he would except that. I'm sorry but that is absolute crap!
Now I'm not saying my living situation is ideal, but I'm not gonna force my boyfriend to get married to me just for the sake of people at church, he will ask me when he's ready. I'm not condoning our situation and I'm not gonna go announcing it to the guests at Alpha. But in the same respect I'm not going to keep it a secret from them because I'm not ashamed of it and I'm still in 2 mines of my views on this. We do plan to get married but when WE'RE ready.
I was reading Brian's Heasleys blog again as I do most days and he has recently started do pod casts which I enjoy listening to. This weeks was quite relevant to this topic about how churches nowadays would not probably have Peter, Moses and David on their leaders ship team because they had done wrong things (adultery, murder etc) yet these are the exact people God used.
Check out Brian's Podcast
Also In 1Corinthians chpt 6 V9-11 when it talks about sex before marriage it does also talk about alot of other things like greed, thieves, adultery as well and I think that the church would not turn around to a 30stone person and say: you cant lead Alpha cos your obviously greedy, because you cant be fattiest but its ok to push your opinion of sex before marriage on people.
Had this conversation with someone before and its quite a valid point.

On a much more positive note, Hope 08 had its launch at the cathedral a few weeks ago where I live and we are looking to have a Christmas Festival to Launch it to the community. I really want to get involved in this and go out in to the community more with our church. Brian's podcast touches on this as well about going out and getting your 'hands dirty'. I like the idea of visual aid of getting your hands dirty in the dirt, think this could work quite well at our church so I might nick that idea!

Lots to mention

I have not blogged for a short while now so I have a few things to mention.

My Body Shop Party was on this weekend just gone and I thought it might be a poor turn out as the last one was. But 19 people turned up! which was amazing, but also quite cramped as my apartment is only small so I have people sitting all over the floor as I ran out of seats. Fun time had by all though, Lots of sales made, which means lots of free shopping for me and goods news for my mum. Body shop are dead good because they:
1. don't test on animals
2. All natural ingredient
3. Community Trade (help people in 3rd world countries by giving them fair paid jobs to produce products)
4. they support alot of charities like 'children on the edge'

My neighbour came as well and she stayed after the others left and got to know her which was nice. Think we might get together again sometime.

Had our Alpha Meeting and I have been selected as a Leader for one of the Teams which I'm quite excited about. This is the first year I will be leading so hopefully I do a good Job of it. Our Alpha Launch is this Wednesday so I am currently trying to put together the last pieces of planning for that. We currently know of 30 potential guests so that is a great turn out! (that's if they all come)

This weekend I am having a nice romantic night out with my Boyf, he brought me tickets for the theatre for my birthday back in June so we are going there on Friday night and he has booked a hotel for the night.

To top the weekend off though my work have paid for us all to go to DraytonManor on Saturday so I have a jam packed weekend ahead.

Did this weird diet last week, your meant to do it for 2wks but I managed 4 days. I lost 10lb cos its just eggs, grapefruit, salads, meats etc but it seems to be low in carbs and high in protein. Anyway I was really tired by the 4th day and I thought the diet had a lot to do with it so I came off it. I have just been eating healthily since then so hopefully I will continue to loose a bit of weight. I don't want to be stick thin though (don't think I ever could be either though as I like my food too much)
So going the gym tonight with the intention to join, That's how I managed to loose the 2.5stone last time I dieted properly. So I think I'm gonna have to endure it again. Need to find the same motivation I had back then to keep going and not give up.

Open Door

The open door situation is developing againg. The door is still open but not in the way I thought, not really sure what God has planned still in this situation but just keep praying for 'his will to be done' (as suggested by a friend) so just waiting, but alot of positive words coming to me through pray, friends, bible passages. so again I will continue to watch this space.

Body Shop Party

So my mum has blagged me to have a body shop party for her on Fri 21st Sept so anyone that knows me is welcome to come along and bring a friend. Good excuse if you ask me to have the girls round, be induldged and enjoy a glass or two of wine.

The new winter and Christmas catalogues have been launched so loads of new products and smells to try and lots of christmas gift ideas. If you cant make it but would like to place an order let me know and I will get a catalogue to you to have a look at.

Nice Weekend

Well I went out on Friday night to celebrate my friends birthday, we all dressed up as gangsters for the night as this was the theme she picked for the night. It was a good night had by all, think my friend was a bit worse for where but good night!

Then on Saturday went to a body shop function with my mum, which was good cos I get a free goodies bag full of loads of products worth £50. I also obviously got to spend the day with my mum so that was nice. At this event they had a really mad guy and his band who played the African drums. He was trying to demonstrate the importance of putting in 100% effort to get good results for your business. This got me thinking regarding the Alpha Course. If we put in 100% effort regarding inviting people and making people aware of the course then we will get good results in the number of people attending.

Therefore On Sunday I tried to take the drumming concept into church. Got the congregation slapping the legs, faster and slower to reflect the effort that could be put into telling people about alpha and inviting people. Faster speed to represent alot of effort, low speed for low effort. I guess you had to be there to understand what the point was but I think people in church got it so we'll see. One of my friends at church has already got 7 confirmed guests so shes really putting in the effort.

God Talking

I constantly pray that I will become closer to God and really experience his presence and his changes in my Life. As I look at Christians around me I feel like I have been left behind abit or that maybe I don't put enough effort in to my relationship with God as I don't always feel close to God and wonder why everyone else is having these great GOD experiences.

Since coming back from Ibiza though I just cant get enough of him and the evidence that he appears to be there listening to my every pray is great.

Again I was reading Sacred Space (I love this site now, really make an effort everyday to read it) and today it talked about Luke 5 1-11 where Simon drops everything and follows Jesus. Sacred space suggest to listen to the lord and hear what he is telling you.

I truly think that God is saying to me 'trust me (in the situation I mentioned in last blog) and just drop everything'.

I do find it really difficult to trust in the Lord, not because I doubt him but when I cant make logical sense of how something is going to pans out, or physical evidence of everything being ok then I really struggle. I always pray for God to deal with a situation and then I have to pray for God to give me the ability to trust that he will deal with the situation even if I don't know how he will do that. Quite silly really but again I try and reassure myself by coming back to Proverbs 3 (especially V5)

Also I have stopped smoking in the day now as well. I still smoke but the fags are now just a few a night time and then just when I go out.

Open door phase 2

Well I talked about the open door answered prayer etc in a previous blog, well I had prayed and my friend had had this prophetic vision but there was no evidence of any change in the situation.
Well the change came yesterday, Its good news but I cant really talk about it on the blog at the mo so I will keep you updated when I am in a position to tell you more. Very exciting though, God really working in this situation, lots of answered pray. I pray that he keeps the door open. We'll see!!!

another message

Well did the alpha promo at church on Sunday, got everyone to stand up and basically said they could only sit down if they knew no non-christian friends or family. As you would expect no one sat down so I hi-lighted the fact that each and everyone of them had at least 1 person they could invite to Alpha. I suggested that I knew not everyone we invite will attend the course but even if 1/8Th of the people asked came then we would still have a very successful course.

We handed out the alpha business cards for them to give to the people they invite. Get the feeling from God that this years Alpha is gonna be BIG!



I prayed about me standing at the front, asking God to give me the right words and he answered my pray as I feel it was a success. Later I thanked him for blessing me with the job of telling everyone about Alpha. Today I have gone on to Sacred Space pray for today and it asks you to read the passage and then reflect on what God is saying to you. It talked about being anointed by God to Preach good news (Luke 4 v18) and that's exactly what he has done, anointed me to talk about Alpha. What a blessing!!

Shopping

Saturday is MY day because my boyfriend is always busy on a Saturday, during the summer he plays cricket or during the winter he will go and watch our local football team. This means that on a Saturday I spend the day doing all my jobs which includes tidying the house, food shopping etc. But because we went away at the weekend I didn't go shopping so by last night we had no food in the house so I went and did the shop last night and my boyfriend came too.

Now tomorrow I think I'm gonna have too much time on my hands as its not often that I stray away from Saturday plans. I may just have to go and have a nosey round town!

Going shopping with my boyfriend is quite funny because I enjoy food shopping more then I enjoy clothes shopping so on a Saturday I am known to probably spend about 1.5-2hrs in Asda at on a Saturday just browsing around the aisles, I have to go down every aisle to make sure I remember everything as we don't write a shopping list.

We don't normally go together as it causes arguments, he trys to rush me by rushing off with the trolley and get me round the aisles more quickly.

The issue is basically because I'm a bit like Monica from friends, I have a certain way of doing things. I like to go slow, remember all the stuff we need. I take stuff out the trolley on to the conveyor belt in a certain order so I can pack it up together. Like all the meats together, all the veg together etc. This makes it easy to unpack back home. My Boyfriend is so much more laid back and that's why we clash at Asda. Generally we have made a sensible decision not to go shopping together!!!

Was I right to do that?

Well I had the conversation with my friends about the drugs thing and then after I felt very upset about whether I had made the right decision to basically say that I didn't want to be around anymore when they were taking it.

As I said before, the issue isn't drugs but I what I was trying to do was to show love, because I really value our friendship and I don't feel that I'm doing that while being with them whilst their taking it.

I did start to think that its made me come across judgemental on them but that's not what I'm trying to do at all, its actually because I care about them so much. At this point I also read a blog by one of Brian's contacts called 'Brutal Beaters' where he writes about a girl who is no longer a christian and how people have been beaten and wounded by the church and its people. he talks about the story in the bible about the good Samaritan, how sometimes we actually represent the people that beat the man up rather then the Samaritan that helped out. I thought for minute is that me? Is that what I have done to my friends? was I right to do that? am I coming across as trying to hard to be righteous?

I have even tried to cut down on the fags to perhaps see how difficult it would be to give up something you enjoy. Not doing too bad actually, no fags before 6pm every day and then just a few at night.

But I have continued to mull this over and pray about it, then I read a blog from one of my mates Brian and he summed it up, thanks Brian. Also If your gonna check out his blog listen to the podcast about grace swaying her hips really liked this!

Open Door

I have recently been praying about a certain situation and I'm quiet apprehensive about it because it is something completely new to me and I have been praying that God will leave the door open to that situation if its right and will close the door if its not the path he wants me to take. I haven't heard anything for a week about this situation so I was thinking that the door had been closed but then last night during cell group we had a big prayer session and my mate had a prophetic vision of an open door with darkness behind it. she said she felt that the door was open but the darkness represented the unknown. Straight away I knew the vision was for me and it was God saying the door is open and he knows I'm a bit unsure but it will be OK and I need to trust in him.

During the evening I think alot of us have trust issues, find it difficult to leave things to God 100% but that passage came to me again

Proverbs Chp 3 V5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

do not depend on your own understanding.

I think we all really had good God experiences last night of him speaking into situations in our lives.

Alpha, Alpha, Alpha

Alpha national campaign starts in September so I am currently trying to tie up our own alpha promotion with that. I am presenting info about alpha at church on Sunday, email all church members to ask them to invite their friends and family to attend the course via an email invitation. Emailed members copies of the posters, explained how to add the alpha link to their own web pages etc. ITS STARTED. Still got loads to do, still need to plan the rest of the launch party, do further poster promotion and maybe even get the local pub to use the drinks mats.

Lots of work but anyone that knows me, knows I love the organising and the coming together of an event. Its great when you see the finished result and you know you helped make it be like that.

Meeting tonight with my cell group, no real structure to the night we just know that we all need some prayer at the moment so we are spend the evening doing that.

Bank Holiday Weekend

Nice weekend in Skegness, the weather stayed good for us the whole weekend. My mum had a nice birthday, took her out for a meal and brought her some of her favourite perfume.
I managed to get her on some of the fair rides that are at Fantasy Island, which was well funny cos she screamed all the way round and I laughed at her all the way round. Check out the photo of here!

We got home Monday afternoon and went and got a nice piece of Lamb so I did a big fat Roast dinner. Diet starts again today though so lets see how I get on.

Night in & Skegness this weekend

Well considering the weekend we had last weekend, I 'm staying in tonight. I am meeting up with my boyfriends sister for a bottle of wine and a Chinese. It will be nice to catch up with her as I haven't seen her properly in ages.

Then tomorrow we drive to skegness for a weekend at the seaside. Its my mummy's birthday so we thought we would spend the weekend with her and take her out for a nice meal and treat her to a lovely birthday!! Got to go shopping tomorrow to get her something not sure what yet though. Skegness is so cheesy (like most seaside resorts) but then its a break away from the norm so I quite enjoy it. The only downside is mum's caravan is parked there all the time so I have done most activities that are available in the area. (On the subject of my mum she has decided to do the Alpha course this term, so thats good news)

Failed

I failed!!!

Well I went home last night after not having a fag all day, where I would normally have had about 4 throughout the day at work. When I got home we had a bottle of wine between us and a nice pasta meal that my boyfriend had cooked and before you know it I had smoked a few fags.

I did well to smoke less then normal but after a glass of wine, the two things go hand in hand, wine-fags.

I'm going to try and not smoke as much as possible this week but I'm not going to beat my self up over it if I cant stick to it. Lately over the last few days I have drawn very close to God and I know the enemy will try his hardest to pull me away. He will pile on the guilt so that I will feel not worthy of God because I cant even commit to something as small as giving up fags. He has already attacked me relating to conversations at the pub the other night but I had dealt with that issue already so I'm not letting it effect me.

I will not let anything come between us. Lets face it, Yes maybe I cant give up the fags yet but I managed to give up the drink for 4 weeks!

Different views

Last night we had our cell at the pub for a social rather then at my house doing the normally bible study. we talked about different peoples views on what the bible says. I thought it was quite interesting what the back of the bible says that Brian Gave me. Leave it up to people to decide what they think now!!

We also discussed the fact that we are going to have to concentrate on Alpha planning etc and who we are going to pick as a team to be leaders and helpers this year. This link takes you to the alpha web site where it suggests how to make this desicion.
http://www.alphafriends.org/how-run-course#8

Next cell is at my house again and we have decided to dedicate the night to prayer, we will be praying for one another and also for potential alpha candidates as well.

Drugs

Why do people take Drugs?

I don't think I will ever understand it as I don't know how they make you feel but I know that I find it a real shame to watch people that are around me take them.

Going back to the blog where I wrote about the night we were away and everyone around me was taking drugs of some sort.

I have continued to pray about this and really struggling with it. It has also been more of an impact after helping that women as she was in the mess. she told us this was due to a combination of drink and drugs (she didn't say which drugs)

I have always thought that everyone is entitled to make their own decision and felt that as long as I didn't take them then that was ok. I also thought that if Jesus came to earth he would be in and amongst these sort of people and excepting them for what they were and what they did as the bible tells us he excepts everyone.


But as someone pointed out to me last night he may well come to earth and be amongst these people but he wouldn't sit back and watch them snort stuff up their nose or swallow a tablet around him.


Drugs has never been my thing, thankfully even when it has been around me (when I worked in Ibiza) I have not been tempted to venture in that direction. As I said it's never bothered me before that people around me doing it but suddenly in that moment in Plastik in Ibiza it was really a problem.

Its awful as well watching how it changes people, their facial expressions, their paranoid, they slurr, yet they still want more!!

Drugs seem to come between people and their relationship with God and honour is given to drugs not God. I have given up the fags as I mentioned in the last blog to draw closer to God and prevent the reliant I have on them coming between me and him.

Answered Pray

I was looking back over the last few weeks and the things that I have brought up such as my job and being closer to God.

I realise now that God is dealing with all the prayer that I have prayed recently.

I said that I needed to create more time for God and to be closer to him and over the weekend with all the things that went on, I feel drawn so much closer to God

Relating to my job, God is also dealing with that too. I have a few concerns with this one but I need to trust that if this is the right thing that God will leave the door open to it. I am fasting for a week, I've decided to give up fags for a week.

I have noticed the changes as well, about my feelings as I am feeling less discontent as I am more fulfilled with him.

Prayer really does change things, like my plaque says at home!!

I have also started to make a point of trying to read the prayer on sacred space most days which I have found very helpful. http://sacredspace.ie/

A friend of mine also gave me a CD of a guy called prophet Bill talking of things to come. It was a bit hard to get into cos he goes of on tangents but the overall message was to glorify God and anytime you think of doing negative, flip it over and say a positive. Eg if you are going to make a judgemental comment about someone, turn it round and praise them. This made me think, that maybe I don't do this enough so I'm gonna try and start.

Another Ibiza Story

I forgot to mention that I met up with Brian from 24/7 Prayer for a coffee, it was nice to put a name to a face (even though I have already seen his photo on his blog)

Just had a general chat about what they do out there, he showed me round the office and the prayer room and I thought back to when I was working out there and thought how nice it would have been to have somewhere like this to come to. It's a good thing for the guys that work in Ibiza at the moment.

He also gave me when of the goodie bags they give people, which contained a new testament written by Eugene Peterson called ' Jesus loves Porn Stars' a CD, pray request cards etc. The Bible is really good actually as it is a modern text and quite small so fits in my handbag fine. I started having a look through last night and enjoying it.

Forgot to even mention that I was interested in finding out a bit more about the 2 wks stints that they do. Never mind its not til next year anyway.

After leaving Brian it was when I got back to my hotel that I found that women on the beach.

Read all of 'writing on the wall' while I was away so I passed it on to Jackie the lady that helped me sort that other lady out. I hope it encourages Jackie even more with finding her faith again.

Long blog coming up!!!!

Well back from Ibiza after having a great time with the girls, there was a really lack of sleep on the holiday as people over there don't tend to go out til about 11pm which means your not in til about 5am/6am.

Had a big God moment whilst I was there. On my last day there was a women on the beach all curled up with her face down in the sad. It looked a bit like a yoga position or something but then the lads we met there went over and started taking the mick by going up behind her and pretending to have sex with her. This is when I realised something was wrong. I went over to see if she was ok as by know she had changed positions on to her side but her body looked very limp. When I got to her, her face was covered in sand and she had snot coming from her nose and she was crying. I could also tell that she was drunk as when I asked if she was alright she could hardly get a word out and I struggled to understand her. I sat there and thought, I've got to sort this out but didn't know how.
So at that moment I prayed and asked God to send me help or give me strength to deal with this and get the lady sorted out. Literally with in about 30 seconds a lady called Jackie came over and could see I may need some help. Between us we got the lady off the beach and sobered up for her flight home a few hours later. During this time I saw Jackie was wearing a cross so I asked her ' are you a christian?' and she said 'yes, are you?' and I said 'yes' and then it dawned on me that God had answered my prayer for help by sending Jackie who happened to be a christian also to sort the lady out. Once we got the lady in a taxi me and Jackie had a chat and she said she had lost her faith in the last year after loosing her cousin in a car crash and today has really opened her eyes (I told her about my answered pray for help). All this is great because I feel God used me to help the lady in need but also help someone come back to faith. How Exciting!! I told all my mates as well and they were quite surprised.

Also While I was there on the first night we wore T-shirts my friend had printed. They all said the normal stuff like Juicy Jo, Saucy Sarah etc except mine which said Econemical Emma which means someone who promotes Christianity. It was good because alot of people didn't know what it meant (including me) so they came over and asked, this stirred up alot of conversations with people asking me about my faith and what they thought. One guy said he did used to believe but cant now with the job he does as he works in a care home and sees alot of old people dying.
I said that we all die one day and instead of focusing on the death why not focus on the fact that these people may be going to heaven which makes the whole thing a more positive thought. I asked if I could pray for him but he didn't want me to (think he was a bit embarrassed) so I went and had a dance and prayed for him then on my own. Quite different praying in the middle of a night club but I figure God is still listening!

Then on the last day our flight was at 2am so we were planning on having an evening dinner and then getting a taxi to the airport. When we got back to the hotel the taxi's hadn't been booked and the hotel wouldn't book us one as they said they would all be busy so we had to just try and hail one down. but there was 8 of us girls and about 10 lads that we met all trying to get a taxi. Panic starting to set in with us all worrying whether we would manage to get one in time for our flight so again I prayed about it and told my friends not to panic cos I'd prayed and God would sort it. And sure enough he did, so again more answered prayer.

Ibiza Blog

Well here in Ibiza, and having a brill time with the girls. We went straight out on Friday night when we got here and I ended up staying up all night and then going straight to the pool. I did move on to water earlier on in the night though so I wasnt drunk just really enjoying the start of the holiday.

I had a sleep later in the day before we went out again on Saturday. We ventured to Plastik which is a bar near to Eden etc. I like the music in there and we all had a good dance.

Last night was our last night and we had planned to go to Eden for judgement Sunday but the plans did come off and we ended up staying in Plastik again. It was a good night but then I suddenly found myself by people taking drugs quitr liberally in front of me. If people wanna take drugs thats up to them but it is difficult to be on the same wave length as them if your just having a drink as your both enjoying a completely different experience to one another.

I was disappointed when some guy who was in our company decided to tell everyone that I had joined in with there narcotic antics, when I actually hadnt and dont ever intend to. I dont understand the whole drugs thing at all.

I will load on some photos when I get home for you all to have a look at.

Meeting up with Brian shortly from 24/7 so that should be good,

Message

Well as you know I previously wrote how I feel discontent and that I need to spend more time with God etc. Well last night our small group discussed this passage:

Ezekiel 47 1- 12

(I'm not gonna type out the whole passage but you can use the bible gateway link to view it if you like)

It talks about the river and as with most bible passages it has a meaning that makes sense from what you read but then a second meaning where God is trying to give us a message. In this its the river represents our relationship with God, how it starts as a small little trickle and then grows and grows. People and things all around us our nurtured also through the relationship we have with him. We had a prayer time afterwards to reflect on that and were asked to consider where we were on along the river and where did we want to be.

This is obviously really relevant to me as it is what I have been thinking, Where am I with God.
Anyway it was great cos I felt like God said:

'Come Deeper with me Emma, Don't be afraid'

How fantastic is that! so watch this space.

My friend also gave me a copy of Redmoon Rising which is a book written by Pete Greig from 24/7 prayer and I was debating on getting it for a while but I decided to buy Brian Heasley 'writing on the wall ' book first and I was gonna read that first but now I have both. Well actually Writing on the wall is on its way over from America, but I have redmoon rising now to take away with me.

24-7prayer

I go away tomorrow with the girlie's so I wont be Blogging for a while but will come back and keep you all updated about how much fun we had and may add a few photos.

Also the passage from previous blog wasn't the same one that came with my ring it was this

John 13 V13
34"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

Which is something that I should consider more as sometimes I can be quite quick to Judge.

XX

Ibiza in 3 days

Well 3 days to Ibiza, Really looking forward to it now. The weather here is so rubbish and according to Brian's Weather Pixie on his blog the sun has got his hat on in Ibiza, Hip, hip , hip Hurray!

Think we are just gonna venture up the West end and then the Local clubs Es Paradise and Eden rather then the others purely to save money in taxi costs. Although I wouldn't have minded trying Hed Kandi at El Divino on Saturday.

As long as I can show my friend Sarah the sunset I dont mind where we go, I know she likes stuff like that ( like me!) it would be nicer to go beniras beach (not how you spell it) as its quieter there and allows you to reflect more. Although I do think that having so many people there you can still reflect but just in a completely different way.

Discontentment

This is a subject that was brought up at church the other day and I do really feel that it was applicable to me.

I have a lovely Boyfriend, house, car, nice clothes, good friends (now anyway) , good family, go on holiday once a year, have a job etc etc

Yet still I feel discontent with what I have. Why is this?

At church the other week we were all given a sticky label and asked to in our head write the word that was most relevant to us from the list we were looking at. I chose discontent as this was most relevant to me. Other words were things like lonely etc. Then asked to leave the sticky label on the door at church as we left to represent that we had left this with God to deal with in our lives. Now it has been highlighted though I keep think about it and how selfish I am that I'm not happy with all the lovely things God has provided me with.

I think its because I surround myself with materialistic things and don't consider whats really important and that is my faith and my relationship with God and how important Jesus is in my life. Which leads back to my previous blog about making more time God.

The verse that was read relating to this sermon was

John 10 7-11
7Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. 8All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. 11"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

suggesting that through Jesus we should 'live life to the full' and that's what I'm gonna try and do.

Also the really great thing is that my boyfriend brought me a ring (not a wedding ring I might add) when I got baptised and it came with a piece of scripture, which at the time didn't seem to hold any relevance. But I'm sure that it is this passage, or if not relating to this topic!!
I will go home tonight and check and let you know.